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Dealing with depression can be a slow process, and it may take some time for your child to start seeing improvements. Do not get discouraged if things don’t seem to be moving as quickly as you would like; just keep doing what you know is best and trust that God will work in His own time and in His own way.
Depression is more than feeling down for a few days. To be “depressed” one must have the majority of the following symptoms present for 2 or more consecutive weeks. (1) Difficulty performing normal tasks, or feeling numb when hearing good news. (2) The loss of interest in normally enjoyable activities. (3) Changes in appetite (increased or decreased) and weight changes are also common. (4) Change in sleeping habits. Either finding it difficult to sleep or sleeping longer than normal. (5) A change in energy, feelings of fatigue or moving slowly. (6) Trouble concentrating or thinking. (7) Feelings of being worthless, guilty about past failures, and at times thoughts of suicide. (8) Some people will also be more irritable, “on edge”, or seem distracted.
If you're dreading the holiday season because you're worried about your past trauma being triggered, you're not alone. Triggers can come in many forms such as songs, family rituals, scents, sights, and memories. Then there is always the pressure to conform to societal and familial expectations that says, “it is the most wonderful time of the year”.
In a survey by NAMI, “approximately 75% of overall respondents reported that the holidays contribute to feeling sad or dissatisfied and 68% financially strained. 66% have experienced have loneliness, 63% too much pressure and 57% unrealistic expectations. 55% found themselves remembering happier times in the past contrasting with the present, while 50% were unable to be with loved ones.”
If you are reading this blog post, you have most likely been experiencing symptoms for many years. The national average for a person to reach out for help from the time they first noticed symptoms is eleven years (nami.org). Reaching out for help can be difficult. The idea of sharing personal fears with a counselor can feel uncomfortable, which is why people wait so long to reach out for help. However, a good counselor understands the value of building a strong relationship with their clients in which they will feel comfortable sharing. When seeking help from a competent professional, one can expect to receive genuine care and understanding while being helped to build the necessary tools needed to reduce anxiety.
Research has revealed that the average couple waits approximately four years to start counseling, despite experiencing the need earlier. Many times, by the time the couple appears in the counselor’s office, one or both of the partners have already reached a level of indifference. Or lack of desire to work on their relationship. This is the most challenging and scary place for couples to find themselves. By this point, their primary motive in attending counseling sometimes is checking this off their list. Thus indicating that they tried everything, before heading to a divorce attorney.
Christian Counseling of Tampa is offering a trauma support group for survivors of trauma. This trauma support group will educate participants about the neurobiological impact of trauma. The group will also serve as a support group and allow the members to grow from their experiences. There will be a limit of 10 participants with at least 6 people committed to the trauma support group before it will start. The group focuses on helping those who have experienced physical abuse, emotional abuse, neglect, and relationship betrayal. Christian values will be incorporated as part of the group process. If interested, please contact Christian Counseling of Tampa. You can meet with a trauma therapist to set up an interview with the group facilitator.
Meltdowns at the grocery store. Screaming before bedtime. Sullen silences in the car on the way home from an activity that was supposed to be fun. That’s a normal part of parenting.
It becomes harder when your child is engaging in these behaviors more than is normal for their age. Even though children are verbal, they often express themselves through behaviors. There can be outward behaviors, like meltdowns, tantrums, and fights. There are also inward behaviors, like being sad often, withdrawn, or not as engaged in their favorite things as they usually are. Because behaviors are often how children communicate their experiences, these things may be a sign that a child could benefit from play therapy.
For me, I find myself doing it often. It is so easy to let our identities become lost in what we do. Or, how busy we are as opposed to finding the root of our identity in who we are. What does it even mean to figure out who we are, and why does it matter? Well, what happens when there is a sudden change in our circumstances that can cause our sense of self to waver? That is when it matters most to be grounded in our values and inherent traits that God created in us individually. We are assuredly going to go through some major changes in this life.
She shared with tears that she was not a good wife. Also, she found it difficult to make decisions around the house and at work even over the most basic things. She also shared that sometimes when her husband touched her, she felt scared and didn't understand why. Paige said that her husband always treated her with kindness and was respectful. She felt confused, needed help, and did not know where to turn for answers.
Paige did not understand she was experiencing a reaction to previous traumas in her life. It can be difficult for someone to determine when they need help for reactions they do not understand.
For some reason, the idea of men going to counseling is considered foreign. I’m not sure I can singlehandedly capture the complicated relationship between men and therapy, but I hope to be able to shed some light. As men, we are often drawn to problems that have solutions. Flat tire? Change it. Running toilet? Fix it. Relational conflict? Resolve it (the process of how we resolve it varies greatly amongst men). Men like solutions. We like results. We like answers. If we’re humble enough to say we don’t have the skills to fix something, we’ll begrudgingly call someone who does... but not before at least trying ourselves, am I right?
