If you are reading this blog post, you have most likely been experiencing symptoms for many years. The national average for a person to reach out for help from the time they first noticed symptoms is eleven years (nami.org). Reaching out for help can be difficult. The idea of sharing personal fears with a counselor can feel uncomfortable, which is why people wait so long to reach out for help. However, a good counselor understands the value of building a strong relationship with their clients in which they will feel comfortable sharing. When seeking help from a competent professional, one can expect to receive genuine care and understanding while being helped to build the necessary tools needed to reduce anxiety.

Research has revealed that the average couple waits approximately four years to start counseling, despite experiencing the need earlier. Many times, by the time the couple appears in the counselor’s office, one or both of the partners have already reached a level of indifference. Or lack of desire to work on their relationship. This is the most challenging and scary place for couples to find themselves. By this point, their primary motive in attending counseling sometimes is checking this off their list. Thus indicating that they tried everything, before heading to a divorce attorney.

Christian Counseling of Tampa is offering a trauma support group for survivors of trauma. This trauma support group will educate participants about the neurobiological impact of trauma. The group will also serve as a support group and allow the members to grow from their experiences. There will be a limit of 10 participants with at least 6 people committed to the trauma support group before it will start. The group focuses on helping those who have experienced physical abuse, emotional abuse, neglect, and relationship betrayal. Christian values will be incorporated as part of the group process. If interested, please contact Christian Counseling of Tampa. You can meet with a trauma therapist to set up an interview with the group facilitator.

Meltdowns at the grocery store. Screaming before bedtime. Sullen silences in the car on the way home from an activity that was supposed to be fun. That’s a normal part of parenting.

It becomes harder when your child is engaging in these behaviors more than is normal for their age. Even though children are verbal, they often express themselves through behaviors. There can be outward behaviors, like meltdowns, tantrums, and fights. There are also inward behaviors, like being sad often, withdrawn, or not as engaged in their favorite things as they usually are. Because behaviors are often how children communicate their experiences, these things may be a sign that a child could benefit from play therapy.

For me, I find myself doing it often. It is so easy to let our identities become lost in what we do. Or, how busy we are as opposed to finding the root of our identity in who we are. What does it even mean to figure out who we are, and why does it matter? Well, what happens when there is a sudden change in our circumstances that can cause our sense of self to waver? That is when it matters most to be grounded in our values and inherent traits that God created in us individually. We are assuredly going to go through some major changes in this life.

She shared with tears that she was not a good wife. Also, she found it difficult to make decisions around the house and at work even over the most basic things. She also shared that sometimes when her husband touched her, she felt scared and didn't understand why. Paige said that her husband always treated her with kindness and was respectful. She felt confused, needed help, and did not know where to turn for answers.

Paige did not understand she was experiencing a reaction to previous traumas in her life. It can be difficult for someone to determine when they need help for reactions they do not understand.

For some reason, the idea of men going to counseling is considered foreign. I’m not sure I can singlehandedly capture the complicated relationship between men and therapy, but I hope to be able to shed some light. As men, we are often drawn to problems that have solutions. Flat tire? Change it. Running toilet? Fix it. Relational conflict? Resolve it (the process of how we resolve it varies greatly amongst men). Men like solutions. We like results. We like answers. If we’re humble enough to say we don’t have the skills to fix something, we’ll begrudgingly call someone who does... but not before at least trying ourselves, am I right?

So far, I’ve been fairly quiet with my thoughts about COVID-19 and the effect it’s had on our lives as individuals and as a society. I, like many of you, have felt a mix of concern, anxiety, hope, and fatigue. To an extent I’m tired of talking about quarantine and social distancing and I long for life to move forward. No matter how many self-care tactics or strategies for managing stress and anxiety I’ve learned, even though I’m a licensed mental health practitioner, I still had to practice what I preach. When the adrenaline rush wore off, the fatigue set in as I contemplated what living fully looks like in our strange new world. Few blogs I’ve read have adequately captured the heart of what I’ve been feeling during this time, so I thought I would share my own thoughts in hopes that it may help you put words to your own experience.

Dear Valued CCST Client,

I want to take this opportunity to announce Christian Counseling of South Tampa’s new Owner/Managing Director. You have entrusted us with your life’s journey and challenges; and, therefore, I want to assure you during this exciting transition that your services will go as normal.

After 16 years of serving the community, I wanted to seek out the right professional who really understands the heart behind the vision and mission of the practice; one who truly appreciates the value of our service and provides able leadership with an eager capability of future potential as well.

A lot is going on right now with the COVID-19, and it seems like it is creating a lot of anxiety and worry in regards to health, finances, relationships, etc. Is it really creating anxiety or just revealing what already exists beneath the surface? We can often arrange our lives in a way to cover up our fears, and we are addicted to control. As a part of my counseling training, I was required to attend Alcoholics Anonymous, Narcotics Anonymous, and Al-Anon meetings. I found it interesting in the meetings that the family members of alcoholics typically liked the alcoholic in their life better when they were drinking. Why? The real person is revealed when they don’t have the alcohol to cover up whatever they’re using alcohol to cope for. We use control to cover a lot of what we are dealing with and pretend everything is ok.

Grief can be an overwhelming feeling of sadness, depression, anger, and happiness all in one. We all grieve differently; some have lost loved ones, some have recently been healing from a broken heart, and others grieve someone who hasn't even passed yet. Typically, we think of grief coming after death, but it often comes long before death arrives. When the likelihood of death is presented, we often start the grieving process.

“Why can't my parents just get along?” “Why do I have to switch houses weekly?” “Why do my parents always put me in the middle of their fights?” As a registered mental health counselor intern for children, adolescents and young adults, these are the statements I hear from my clients.

In a podcast I was recently listening to, the guest compared the invention of social media to the invention of fire. Back in the day when fire was discovered, I’m sure folks were totally amazed but also had to learn how to control and contain it. It seemingly had great benefits but without some boundaries it could easily become all consuming and even destructive. Sound about right? As we enter into the summer and possibly have some extra time on our hands, let’s consider some practical ways to manage our social media usage.

As a licensed mental health counselor I am consistently seeking to learn the best ways to help clients through whatever hardship they may be facing. A friend and fellow colleague in the field approached me about attending a training to become certified in an evidenced based approach to counseling and I couldn’t have been more excited! I’d heard about ART for several years, having had worked with the addictions population and also with trauma, and it had always been highly recommended.

You are not enough. That sounds like something I shouldn’t be saying on a counseling blog, right? Working in youth and college ministry, one of the greatest struggles I have seen is people not feeling like they’re good enough. I, myself, feel this at times, and in this age of social media, it can be incredibly easy to scroll through Instagram and compare your life or your body to those on your screen.

Here is some scripture to meditate on for those who struggle to realize how much God loves them. When doing the exercise, have someone read it to you, so you can close your eyes and imagine God speaking to you.

I am continuously inspired by my clients. One frequent theme of inspiration is found when clients process, and struggle with, self worth.

Full disclosure, my own self worth journey has experienced some remarkable highs but also some real gut wrenching, wisdom growing lows. I’ve been the girl trying to find my value and worth in relationships; the girl who desperately wanted to fit in so I sought others endless validation; the girl who thought weight and my appearance would be the solution and make me more desirable; the girl who thought my accomplishments would be what made me more respectable. I’ve been the girl who has put God second, even third, in hopes that the guy, the 5 pounds, the compliment would be the solution to my joy and happiness

Thankfully mental health is becoming less taboo these days. But that doesn’t mean there isn’t still a lot of confusion about it. For this week’s blog I thought it might be helpful to provide basic information about depression. How is it defined and diagnosed and what are some healthy coping skills for managing it?

Having worked with couples for over 20 years, there has been such joy to be on the front row seat witnessing healing and restoration.  Being used as a vessel for God to show up and work miracles is no short of fulfilling.  Recently, I worked with a couple who had been married 15+ years, finally gotten to the hard-worked-for chapter of retirement, found themselves not enjoying one another during this supposedly “golden” chapter of leisure and relaxation, and now living in two different cities separated and ready to call it quits.  The lawyers were hired, the papers were filled out and awaiting signatures.  One reached out and posed the question, “Are we sure?”

‘Tis the season!  Even though I say this, I am really not sure exactly of the meaning.  I don’t really talk that way any other time of the year either.  I don’t say, “‘Tis the summer,” for example.  Many times, I catch myself just moving through the motions during the holidays, never really thinking about it.  Don’t get me wrong, I like the welcoming warmth of what traditions bring.  I am saying, though, that giving some intentional thought before the main event of the celebration season begins may help as you move through them.