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How Do I Set Boundaries In A Relationship?

How Do I Set Boundaries In A Relationship?

Personal boundaries define who and what we are. They define what we are responsible to control (personal thoughts, behaviors, actions) and what we are not responsible to control. The personal boundaries of individuals come into contact when two or more people interact about their wants or needs. You have something another person wants (time, support, body, permission, forgiveness, love, advice, possessions, etc.) and boundaries determine the way you will respond to these requests or what you will request of others.

Premarital Counseling: Is It Worth It?

Premarital Counseling: Is It Worth It?

What comes to mind when I mention the words “premarital counseling”? To some, these words may trigger feelings of excitement to grow. For some, feelings of fear and not wanting to confront, and to others, possibly an assumption that something must be wrong with the relationship. These may happen and can be realities, but premarital counseling is not only necessary if you are unsure of marriage but also if you are looking to strengthen your future marriage.

Back to the Future

Back to the Future

Romans 12:2 Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.

The world we live and grow up in surrounds us and shapes us. It influences our choices, our relationships, our careers, our families and where we find ourselves at certain crossroads and decisions we have to make. When we come to those critical junctions, learning more about why we find ourselves where we are can give us the opportunity, as Paul was explaining to the Christians in Rome, to make better, healthier and holier choices.

Comparison vs. Perspective

Comparison vs. Perspective

Let’s talk about social media for a minute. Every now and then I need the reminder that social media is everyone’s “highlight reel” and nowhere close to real life. It’s so easy to get caught up scrolling through your newsfeed consciously or subconsciously creating our own opinions of ourselves and maybe even seeing how we measure up to others.

What are some steps we can take to evaluate the impact of social media on our lives?

Velcro

Velcro

Ever wonder why that one bad interaction sticks with you all day? Or why the one bad play you made at your rec softball game discounts the fine job you did throughout the whole game? Or remember when you may have gotten all A’s on your report card but that one C stuck out like a sore thumb and made the whole marking period a wash? What is with us and negativity?

So, You're single?

So, You're single?

As a woman, and a Christian woman, I’m beginning to feel as if the topic of singleness surrounds me on a daily basis and lingers around most corners of discussion. Between my clients and single friends, I consistently see this area of people’s lives being talked about and viewed in multiple ways.

My Story

My Story

I often get asked “what caused you to want to be a counselor?” or “why addictions?” Often in this field one has either “been through the ringer themselves” or has personally experienced seeing someone they love struggle.  This is my story:

The day I met Kyle (Dec 16,2007) forever changed my life. We met at a bar, shocker! His roommate was the first to approach me and his arrogance immediately turned me off. He must have noticed he was losing my attention because immediately he stated “did you meet my roommates?”. That was when I met Kyle.

Unplug and Tune-In

Unplug and Tune-In

Do you remember your first cell phone? Was it before cell phones had apps, touch screens, and text messaging? Was it when cell phones could barely fit in your pocket and had an antenna? Did you enjoy listening to music on your Sony Walkman or recording your favorite show on VHS? Technology isn’t anything like it used to be. It is transforming and expanding at a rapid pace. It is changing every aspect of the way we live our lives. We can see how our own behaviors have changed over the years as cell phones, televisions and computers evolve and become “smarter”. Technology has the ability to expose relationships to the dangers of conflict, distraction, and temptation. However, it can also increase intimacy, affection, and connectedness in couples if they utilize it effectively.

DIY Home Construction

DIY Home Construction

How much time do we spend creating, maintaining, and increasing our satisfaction with our homes? Whether painting certain colors to create a desired ambiance, cleaning away dust, dirt, and debris, adjusting the decor each season, and managing the landscaping to control overgrowth…caring for our homes is undeniably an ongoing priority. However, how does that amount of time and energy compare to the time and effort we invest into the relationships within our homes?

We are Called to love

We are Called to love

I arrived home from work one day and noticed the laundry had been taken out of the dryer and folded. Now this doesn’t happened often, so you can imagine the surprised greeting my husband received from me. My husband and I have our own ways of cleaning and organizing. I tend to be more particular about cleanliness and how our things are organized; whereas my husband is more laid-back about the structure of the home. So when I saw my folded clothes laid out, my initial reaction was to criticize his folding techniques – “that is not how I do it”, “you should do it like this”, or “that doesn’t look right”. Over the years, I have learned a lot about our differences: how we load the dish washer differently, how we eat at a different pace, how we communicate differently. I’ve also learned to appreciate our differences. When I found the laundry folded his way, I had a choice – to criticize his differences or to appreciate them.
Our responsibility as husbands and wives is to wholeheartedly love our spouse.