Blog
Let’s talk about social media for a minute. Every now and then I need the reminder that social media is everyone’s “highlight reel” and nowhere close to real life. It’s so easy to get caught up scrolling through your newsfeed consciously or subconsciously creating our own opinions of ourselves and maybe even seeing how we measure up to others.
What are some steps we can take to evaluate the impact of social media on our lives?
Did you know the average person makes over 35,000 decisions both consciously and subconsciously each and every day. With so many decisions to be made the power of pre-decision could can come in quiet useful.
You may be asking yourself right now what exactly is a “pre-decision”, a pre-decision is a choice you make between two different choices. It’s the question, do I go that way or do I go this way, do I eat that or this, do I watch this show or that show.
You’ve got an inner voice that has a running dialogue about life that can determine if you feel positive or negative.
Called self-talk, this is the inner voice that has opinions about everything, and those opinions can make a big difference in how you view life. You have an average of about 6,000 thoughts a day, most of which you habitually repeat to yourself. In many cases, you learned to think these thoughts from experiences with your primary caregivers in childhood, and have been repeating them from that time. As you can imagine, many of these thoughts no longer serve you.
I know what you may be thinking.. “Mindfulness? Isn’t that practiced in Buddhism?” or “is practicing mindfulness considered a Christian practice?” Before I begin I think its best we define mindfulness and “being mindful”.
Mindfulness is about bringing awareness to what we are doing, thinking and feeling at the moment you are doing, thinking and feeling it. As Christians we so long to stay connected and focused to God and God’s kingdom, but we can agree and recognize that our fears, anxieties, insecurities and the negativity in this world often times interfere with this focus and our ability to stay present.
Ever wonder why that one bad interaction sticks with you all day? Or why the one bad play you made at your rec softball game discounts the fine job you did throughout the whole game? Or remember when you may have gotten all A’s on your report card but that one C stuck out like a sore thumb and made the whole marking period a wash? What is with us and negativity?
Starting the process of choosing to enter into couples counseling, as well as, choosing who to do it with can be an overwhelming task. In fact, studies show that couples consider making that first appointment for a minimum of four years before actually going. There are many reasons for this, but some of that is the just not knowing. Considering this is the most important relationship, you can never be too careful. This guide can better help you understand some of the things that will make you a well- informed client while you make an educated decision.
Whether it’s a random temper tantrum, a child’s new obsessive behavior, or a once bubbly teenager turned quiet and withdrawn…at some point, parents will experience bewilderment and concern regarding their child’s behavior. Such concerning behaviors can certainly create stress, worry, frustration, and/or a number of negative emotions. In turn, many find themselves losing patience, sleep, or at times, sanity! Fortunately, several simple, yet insightful tips can facilitate a better understanding of such distressing behaviors which will hopefully lead to more productive responses.
I often get asked “what caused you to want to be a counselor?” or “why addictions?” Often in this field one has either “been through the ringer themselves” or has personally experienced seeing someone they love struggle. This is my story:
The day I met Kyle (Dec 16,2007) forever changed my life. We met at a bar, shocker! His roommate was the first to approach me and his arrogance immediately turned me off. He must have noticed he was losing my attention because immediately he stated “did you meet my roommates?”. That was when I met Kyle.
Life is hard and seems to just get harder. And as I write these words, I feel like I understand this now, more than ever. This last month has been one of the most difficult for me, personally. At its worst, the month has come with unexpected losses, grief, terror and pain. Even as a counselor with a long list of “coping skills,” it would still be easy to let circumstances overwhelm me, because life is hard. However, I believe I have the choice, just like anyone else, to choose to suffer well. And I believe the core of this includes embracing pain and suffering. It sounds backwards and unpleasant. But what I have found to be true is this –
Those who embrace suffering, feel better quicker.
