As a child therapist, one of the most common issues parents ask about is how to handle their child's meltdowns in public places. Whether it is a tantrum in the grocery store, at church, a meltdown at a family gathering, or in any public space, it can be a stressful experience for both parents and children. Here are a few strategies you can use to help prevent meltdowns and/or manage them if they do occur.
Ignore the Judgment of Others
It is natural to feel embarrassed or judged when your child has a meltdown in public. But it is important to remember that everyone has experienced a difficult moment with their child at some point! Try not to focus on what others around you may be thinking or saying. Take a moment to yourself to make sure you have the opportunity to feel grounded and recenter. Focus on providing comfort and support for your child at that moment. In this way you can help teach your child through example how to get through a difficult situation.
Identify Triggers and Plan Ahead
The first step in managing your child's meltdown is to try and identify what is triggering them. Perhaps, your child gets overwhelmed when there are too many people or too much noise, or maybe they struggle with transition. Remember, for young children some tantrums are developmentally normal. However, if it is a persistent problem, it may be helpful to write down in a journal what happened, and what was going on leading up to the tantrum to try and get a better idea of what the trigger might be. That way, you can plan ahead to prevent meltdowns from occurring. Some possible ideas include noise-canceling headphones, bringing a comfort object (like a blanket), or a fidget toy for your child to use when they feel overwhelmed. Don’t give up if your first few ideas don’t work! Every child is different and needs different solutions.
Validate Your Child's Feelings
When your child is having a meltdown, it is important to validate their feelings. Do this by letting them know that you understand they are upset and that it is okay to feel that way. Avoid using phrases like "calm down" or "stop crying," as this can escalate the situation. Instead, offer comfort and support by saying things like "I'm here for you" or "Let’s take some deep breaths together." It is ok to even state healthy boundaries such as “It is ok to feel that way, but we still have to keep our hands to ourselves. Let’s go over here and we can practice our breathing together.” This is a great opportunity to practice with your child different emotional regulation skills they have been learning in therapy. According to StatPearls, as the child begins to learn positive behaviors to navigate negative emotions and behaviors, meltdowns will likely decrease.
Offer Choices
When your child is having a meltdown, it may be helpful to offer them appropriate choices to help them regain feelings of control. For example, you could offer them a choice between going outside or to a different room. For younger kids you could offer a choice between walking or sitting in the stroller. Giving your child some control in the situation with options that you choose can help them feel empowered and less overwhelmed.
Take a Break
If your child is in the middle of a meltdown and you have tried everything to calm them down, it may be time to take a break. Find a quiet space away from overstimulation, like another room, a bathroom, or a secluded area outside. Be available for your child and wait until they have calmed down before returning to the public area.
As a child therapist, I understand how challenging it can be to manage your child's meltdowns in public places. However, with some planning and strategies, you can help prevent them from occurring and learn how to manage them if they do happen. Remember to ignore the judgment of others, identify triggers, validate your child's feelings, offer choices, and take a break if needed. With time and practice, you will become better equipped to handle meltdowns and provide comfort and support for your child.
INTERESTED IN GETTING STARTED WITH A THERAPIST IN TAMPA, FL?
Responding to your kids when they melt down in public can be difficult. Our therapists can help you in your parenting journey at both our South Tampa, FL and North Tampa, FL offices. To start gaining the tools needed for competent parenting, follow these simple steps:
Contact Christian Counseling of Tampa or call us at 813-254-3200.
Schedule to meet with one of our counselors at our North or South office.
Start developing skills to deal with your child’s meltdowns.
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