A Reflection on the Pain and Joys of Parenthood
By Chris Thayer
As parents, we love our children more than anything. We want to provide them with the best life possible. A life full of laughter, joy, education, love and exploration.
However, parenting can be tough work most days. After all, our kids aren’t perfect mini-adults that do everything we want without question, and this can be incredibly frustrating. I have joked before that I never knew how much I didn't like kids until I had them. Of course, I don’t really mean this, but it is hard work and it does take sacrifice.
Let’s be real, there is an incredible depth of love and joy that comes from raising another human being with our own values and beliefs. Raising a child can bring out our deepest and best selves, if we let it.
Let’s take a closer look at parenting and why it can be so challenging…but also so rewarding.
1. The Challenges of Parenting
Parenting is full of challenges. Raising children who listen to us and follow our instruction is something all parents wish for, but it doesn't magically turn out that way, if at all. Kids don't always listen to us or do what we ask them to do. Therefore, as parents, there will be times when we don't understand why they are behaving in certain ways or why they are resisting things that seem simple to us. It can be extremely exasperating! Kids are learning about life as they go along, but to us (the parents) it often feels like two steps forward and one step back when trying to raise them.
These frustrations can lead to a lot of stress for parents, especially if you have multiple children. It's easy to get caught up in the daily grind of parenting: cleaning up after meals, doing laundry, picking up after them, driving them all over town, reminding the kids to brush their teeth before bedtime, etc... it never ends. There will be times when your teen completely ignores your rules and family boundaries, your child does something that frustrates you, or your baby won’t stop crying for hours on end. It’s normal to feel overwhelmed during those moments; after all, parenting is an extremely tough job. But amidst the chaos and confusion, there is joy to be found in our children. Even though it may feel like a struggle sometimes, there are also many moments when being a parent brings unparalleled joy. These are the moments that make us forget how hard parenting can be.
2. The Joys of Parenting
Whether it's watching your child accomplish something new or have fun with their friends, sharing an inside joke together, or just seeing them smile. It’s the positive moments and memories that can make all the challenges worthwhile. Take some time every day to appreciate your children for who they are. Admire their unique personalities and quirks or their calm or energetic nature, and don’t forget their funny sayings or hilarious antics. Relish the little things, like snuggling up in front of the TV together or going on an adventure after school or on weekends. You get the privilege of taking part in the forming of their character and helping them develop relationships with Jesus and others around them, which is invaluable.
Ultimately, parenting isn't just about raising independent adults—it's about investing in our children's future by teaching them values and helping them grow into kind and caring people who contribute positively to society. We want our children to succeed in life and become the best versions of themselves they can possibly be and part of achieving this goal is learning how to handle challenges with grace and humility. Raising kids involves teaching them resilience; teaching them how to cope with failure; teaching them respect for others; teaching them empathy for those who are different than themselves; teaching them the value of hard work; teaching them honesty; and most importantly, teaching them how valuable each person is in God's eyes. All these lessons take time but are worth spending the effort on because they help make our children better people who will show Christ’s love to a needy and watching world.
3. Learning About Yourself/Learning From Your Kids
Parenting doesn't just teach your children. If you allow the chance, it can teach you too. As your children grow up, you will learn more about yourself as a person and gain insight into the kind of parent you want to be for them. You will also discover strengths within yourself that you didn’t even know existed. For example: patience (a great life skill), problem solving skills (especially helpful when dealing with sibling rivalry) and communication skills (essential when talking through difficult topics). All these experiences will make you a better parent than ever before. So, while parenting can be tough at times, it is ultimately very rewarding too.
As parents, we should strive not only to raise happy kids but also use them as reminders to lead better lives ourselves. When we take time to learn from our kids, both their lives and ours will be richer for it.
Please see this as your encouragement today, your motivation in the new year. While parenting may seem daunting at times with all its challenges, it’s ultimately an incredible rewarding experience that allows us to invest in our children’s future while deepening our relationships with them along the way. Watching them achieve goals, developmental milestones, and seeing the little ways they show you with excitement and love makes all the hard work worthwhile in the end. Parenting provides the opportunity for invaluable lessons about ourselves and about life itself, which makes it worth all the effort. So, if you ever feel like giving up on your parental endeavors remember why you started this journey in the first place, because there's no greater love than the one you have for your family.
So, if you're ever feeling overwhelmed by family life or frustrated by not getting what you want from your kids - remember why family life is important; because no matter how tough things get sometimes, raising another human being is an incredible privilege. And by committing ourselves to this effort we are sure to benefit from all its rewards in God’s timing.
Let's embrace this journey together by cherishing our children, showing them Jesus in word and deed, and learning from them so that we can become better parents and individuals along the way. It’s not easy but in the long run it can be oh so worth it. How will you find the joy in parenting this year?
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