By Hailey Conston

How often do we identify ourselves by what we do, what is on our calendar, or how others have defined us?

For me, I find myself doing it often. It is so easy to let our identities become lost in what we do. Or, how busy we are as opposed to finding the root of our identity in who we are. What does it even mean to figure out who we are, and why does it matter? Well, what happens when there is a sudden change in our circumstances that can cause our sense of self to waver? That is when it matters most to be grounded in our values and inherent traits that God created in us individually. We are assuredly going to go through some major changes in this life.

Some changes bring elation and others can bring us crashing down if we aren’t grounded

It may involve a sudden death, trauma, breakup, or an exciting new promotion or relationship. Regardless, staying true to your values and being rooted in your identity can help you feel most like yourself in the highest of highs and the lowest of lows. Identity helps bring hope to any situation. There are so many places where people often place their identity. These things are not wrong, but they can be parts of you without defining who you are. Things like personal freedoms and liberties, hobbies, relationships, sexuality, work, material things, and appearance are often used to describe people. If not careful, these things can end up as idols in our lives.

If you are a believer in God, finding your identity in who He says you are can be both a grounding practice and everlasting promise.

Peace comes from God’s eternal love for us. The Bible says that “in Him we are a new creation… (2 Cor. 5:17, ESV)” He created us, and when we accept His love and His one and only son Jesus, He washes us and we are given a new identity, a child of Christ. This means that we are made in His image and likeness, and Christ lives in us so we have the ability to exhibit the same qualities that God does (Gal. 2:20, ESV). We are not perfect like He is, but we can tap into the fruits of the Spirit that he shares with us in Galatians 5, “...love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control (Gal. 5:22-23, ESV).”

Confidence and identity often go hand in hand.

When we are secure in our values and identity, we can have confidence in ourselves. For Christ-followers, giving God praise for who He created us to be, and having confidence in who He says we are can help shift the responsibility of perfection and pleasing others. We were never meant to be perfect. Placing our confidence in God and not only in ourselves can relieve societal pressures.

Is anyone perfect at this? Of course not! Even while sitting here writing this, I’m using it as a reminder to myself too. Even mental health professionals struggle with identity and confidence. Having the humility to go to others for help in these areas is a sign of strength. And, we were never expected to heal ourselves or go through these struggles alone! Finding close friendships, having a support system where you can be vulnerable, and trusting your therapist to help you overcome identity and confidence struggles are only a couple of the tools that God has placed in your toolbox.

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Next time you find yourself wavering on who you are, remind yourself that you are here for a reason. Remind yourself that you are special and irreplaceable to those around you, and that God created you in His image to glorify Him. You are so loved, and there is always hope. The team at Christian Counseling of Tampa would be honored in supporting you grow in confidence. Contact us today to learn more our services, and better understand your own identity. Our team also understands you may be experiencing other mental health concerns, which is why we are happy to offer support with a variety of mental health services. We are happy to also offer trauma therapy, premarital counseling, Christian counseling, therapy for anxiety, marriage intensives, grief counseling, and therapy for depression. We also offer ART, CBT, EFT, and other services as well. Learn more about us by visiting our FAQ or blog today!